The synopsis of an iceage in a decade

Another decade in a city i couldnt feel more out of place
like a blur in a stilled frame i stand out in a haze of smoke
in public bars trying not to make eye contact because
I dont know what to say anymore.

Ten years and i struggle to look back
so i attempt to reflect and test myself.
Here is ten words for ten years.

2000: Shitty president and a hurricane with a few fairweather friends.
2001: Middle Easterns kicked the hornets nest and people didnt sleep.
2002: The year i died and couldnt remember the date... fuck.
2003: I struggle to find momentum in things other than hate.
2004: My compass pointed north and became cold, broke a heart.

2005: Comics and Narcotics fueled couch surfin' usa washed up eventually
2006: Downtown lights ghost, girls offering blowjobs for employee discount pitas.
2007: Dad doesn't make it home and they never found them.
2008: Tale of a ghost who loves a girl begins.
2009: Physically and mentally mutated i was the toxic avenger again.



10:
Some stories end different than you thought they would. But there's a lesson in the ones that you stay up late trying to consider cross roads and forks in roads fumbling to find words to fix situations and put out burning bridges.. It was for the better.

you are the burning crosses in the Mississippi
you stand out in the night because you used to be the fool..
everyone remembers how it looked when you looked up
from the ground getting snowed in
and throwing up on expensive cars
from high rise pool after hours slut caves.

For the shorter stories with the regrets and consequences
that have hairs running up your neck
being haunted by flash backs of black hole rooms
in the middle of heatwave summers
where all you did was fuck,bike,smoke

and we were the lords of all creation.


If there is an other side to life
i hope i see a few people that live forever in my head.

RIP Dad.
Thanks for this.
being sorry is something
i am difficult at expressing.

Im not focused on where ive been so much anymore.
just trying to remember where i wanna go
Like a blind psychic i see big things.
and im sorry
some of you wont be there with me.
Good luck
God speed.
ill always reminisce
its in my nature.


[-_-] . . .

To future enemies and obstacles....
Get some.
Still doing me.

Peace
Happy Holidays
hG.

12/25/10 - Jesus Claws

I went to church this morning. Mass took place with two pedals in a park. Baptism by cigarette fire and the burning bush, I rest my eyes on a bench where i met god but her name was spelled backwards and she loved the way my hands smelled and had sweet eyes. This christmas all i want is to be comfortable. Hope everyone else has a nice day and a good whatever today is to you.

cute aids

Untitled # 5
I write letters
to shadows and sheets
i miss leaving
ex-children deposits
in between.

I leave my thumb
pressed over the peephole
and knock hard and slow,
like the bed frame against the wall
the last time you exorcised my demons
in deep winters
where we caved in
and let the stalagmites accumulate
from the drooling tongues
sliding across the glass table top.

my infected finger
drips every time i come close
to the corner i fucked up on
when i let a few words slip
i knew i couldnt pay back.
and it took everything
to get the spear out of my rib.

God damnit.
Its the season
where im gifted with believing
that underneath all the wrapping paper
and a few tags
there's a box
i cant get to
beneath the floor boards
buried deep
like the ancestors of ancient tribes
resurfacing in community pools
and you're cursed in the jacuzzi
with conversations of std treatments
and how much god doesn't believe in us.

If he did i wouldn't be here.
Listening to the clock
whisper to my sleepy eyelids
another minute
shes not there.

Another minute i stayed snowed in
and the am
becomes pm.
and back again.





--
After word
This is the season for spoiled kids
to stay in bed.
I walk around all day
with a heavy head
and the rocks you keep throwing
land well
nested in my glass eye
you used to look through
and wonder
where the rabbit hole turned out at.

you forget how long the shutter stays open
and it develops an unhealthy light
and you vomit
so you dont have to stomach the state
of things
the way you left them
on the porch
with a fist entering a wall
and you have a window
god never opened
when i slammed the door shut
and walked
heavy.
with rocks
raining.

II

Chianti Hall

A ghoulish mid-December finger
circles the outskirts of a crystal short glass
the waves pulverize
the glacier rocks
and the wind rides
the vapors of good hopes.

My muscles are connected
to flawed black bones
like the hollow frame
of the house you grew up in
that burned down the summer
after you got pist off.
The memory string still hinges
the tip of a thought
to a forgetful boy.

The very same bones
are survived by a highway of rush hour
poison
constantly fueling the beating drum
that beats so fast
when words are said
in a certain pitch
by a certain voice
my eyes roll back
and the strobe light
doesnt stop.

I wake
up.
under a screaming fan
naked
on a vomit covered mess.
like a "L" tipped over
legs propped up on
an unforgiving bed
god only knows
how many nights i slept in foreign cities
refugee from my own head.

You count sheep
to take you to far off places.
I am far off places
and i count backwards from
ten
to start breathing
under chest compressions.

In and out
of focus
is the night life
smoke dazed
past midnight escapes
to the courts
where the lights stay on
for me.

I stay alive.
by eating
the regrets
and sins i've committed
and all's fair
love and equal
hate and the dream view
looking through a keyhole
just to get the silhouette
of the noose around your pillow
when an arm cranes over your neck
under the breath
of someone who curses
your every second
existence.
...

----
Artist Notes:
I wrote half of this on the back of some napkin in some shitty place that was converted
into a nightclub which signaled me to vomit on the floor
which apparently is code for the late night flare
of a ship that was probably more fortunate at getting its passengers home.

I chase more wine against the acid that eats my teeth
and i wounder
will i ever be the sort of thing
that erodes
at the brain branch
of those who have a past with me.
Friend or lover a like
will i ever be the sort of thing
that will create a cavity
in a being
and be the one piece that never made a whole lot of piece
a whole

I woke up the next morning
an hour ago
and i filled in the blanks
here.

-H.G.

(The Holy City)The start of things.

I have chosen to start this blog with the self title.
This Friday has brought me a world of self discovery in such a short period.
I lose myself.
i reflect on the long roads
and the regrets of things i never held onto.
This is the reality.

If you read my writing all of it contains a front and back side.
Front is the writing
Back is the thought expression or a continuation on the thoughts at hand.
-holy.Ghost

----

The Holy City


You resemble a burning tower
the way your posture tips and breaks
into a shower washing the blood
off your kicked in ribs
from falling down gods stairs
too many times on your way home
to a blank expression
and television snow.

You're afraid the fireflies
will trail you back home
and the stars will throw rocks
for leaving burning crosses in their yard.

You are the heathen son
born so far south
they cant wash the darkness
off your inner child.
Solitary confinement is a bold statement.

A mother
so understanding.
she melts my icebergs
on the titanic nights.
We drown in tears
from laughing ear to ear.
while subsonic earthquakes
separate the ground between us.

I am contained in a constant state
of anti matter.
Nothing really phases me.
My fur stays untamed
I am the nicotine monster
to your Sunday picnics.
Sorry families
i was born into demonology.
and i smoke too much weed.

I forgive everything
because I'm probably not gonna make it
too far down the road.
Indestructible dreams
are getting too heavy
and I'm terrible at quitting.

Howl at the moon
when i don't make it.
It will mean the world to me.

----------
Back.

You read the things i say
and you know me better than
the world does.
you never met me
and you know things people my whole life
would never learn.

My enemies
and friends
are lines so shallow
the seem like one way glass
and i am looking through.
The weather is beginning to give in
and the sun is sleeping in.
Its really short. I want my life back
and i have been fighting tooth and nail
to succeed at things ive been killing clocks
so they would stop laughing
at XII.
if you never slept
what would a day mean
besides one never ending movie
where the roles changed
and characters got killed off
or killed you off.

canceled.